The "I'm Okay" Sign That I Recieved Was "Unconventional" To Say The Least

As readers on my other two blogs (The (Not Always) Happy Homeaker Diary and The "Mental"-ist Mom) know, my husband's grandfather had passed away almost a week and a half ago.It was expected, but hard on us all, none the less.

About an hour before he passed away, my husband and I had made it to the house (where he died, as he requested) to say our final goodbye's and let him know that it would all be alright and to "just rest now". Within ten minutes of getting in the door of our home, after getting the kids from a friend's house who watched them while we went to him, we got "the call" that he had expired after suffering health-wise the last couple weeks.

After telling the kids that their great-grandfather passed away, and answering their questions, it was time for them to bed down for the night, seeing as they had school the following morning. Then, not long after, I decided I too needed to head off a bit earlier than normal for bed, being it was such a long, "strange-feeling" (as if I KNEW that death was going to be imminent and VERY soon, as did some other family members as well).

I'd gotten down stairs and hit on my main bedroom light, rounded my bed and touched my touch-lamp to go on to the middle setting. From there, I proceeded to ready myself (and the bed that was calling my name) to slumber.

Suddenly, the touch-lamp had ON ITS OWN, before my very eyes, went up to the high level setting. Never before did this "glitch" happen. Never. I couldn't find any reason for the lamp to turn it's self up of it's own volition. And myself and nothing else was close enough (or strong enough of touch/force) to make the lamp set its self.

Suddenly, like a natural reaction, out blurted from my lips, "Okay Papa, I got you. We are okay and thanks for the sign".

Yes indeed, I even surprised myself after the fact that I just so calmly stated what I had and that I (instinctively) knew that it was him, telling me he was okay. It's as if Big Papa wanted me to get the message (so to speak) as to put Scott (his grandson who he shared a VERY close bond with) seeing as Scott would "take my word for it".

Since that time, I haven't gotten any "feelings" of Big Papa hanging around. Be it here in my home, or at the home he shared with his wife of 62 years. I think that Big Papa is at peace, and happy. He has reunited with his youngest brother who passed in December, his parents and other family I'm sure he'd missed over the years.

But to get the "sign" from him (which yes, I truly believe it was Big Papa and not a malfunction of the lamp) felt wonderful. Made me realize that indeed he DID think of me and love me as one of his own.

Murder or Suicide? Premonition or Uncanny Timing?

Thanks to a friend of mine over on FaceBook, and a posting of an article she had done, I really got to thinking. About "Premonition". Did the woman who had died the year that I was born commit suicide, or was she killed and then dumped off of a cliff as to cover up the killer's crime?

Whether it was indeed a suicide or a homicide will more than likely NEVER come to light. We are talking over thirty years since the death had taken place. But there are some strange "facts" that come to light in the article. And it brings me to the thought of the topic of "Premonition".

The word "Premonition" is defined in dictionary.com as...
–noun
1.feeling of anticipation of or anxiety over a future event; presentiment: He had a vague premonition of danger.

2.a forewarning.

One thing that struck me about this possibly being a case of the girl having a premonition of her own demise (not so much of how or when, but of her life being cut drastically short) was the poem she'd left behind some time earlier before her death had occurred.

The poem reads as follows..

"Dismissed"

I know that I shall soon fade away,
as the day fades into the night.
I am not afraid for all things that begin
must surely draw to a close.

I wonder why all my possessions
seem so like treasures and jewels that just so recently I have uncovered.

I watch each day in silent solitude
Quietly as so not to disturb
even the smallest of molecules.

I (at first) would long for one more decade
to fulfill and satisfy the ambitions and
expectations of my forefathers.

In the beginning I would weep in awesome agony
with a desire to rid myself of
this evil illness.

I know, at least have expected my fate
as you would have to endure a broken heart.

Seven months and three days have passed
since I have learned of my new nature.

I feel myself slowly slipping from this reality
into the reality of the universe.

Each minute reveals the answer to a question
that hasn't been asked, before, even in the greatest books.

Today is the day I must leave and go
to the place where they have been calling
and waiting for me.

I walk slowly into a field of sunshine
Fields of tall waving grass,
delicate flowers and tumbling hills.

A field like the one where my brother and sister passed
there time running, jumping and playing.

Mine eyes have suddenly gone blind to this landscape
as the wind blows, I fall into the grass
softly and peacefully.

My spirit is gone from my bones and flesh
I see myself lying ever so gracefully in a bed
of green satin.

As I descended into the clouds
I feel no sorrow that I must leave
only regret that I couldn't give more love
to my home and my friends.

-Vickie Bertram

Many say that it's more of a suicide note, than a poem of foretelling her own fate. I guess that this poem should be left to the interpretation of each individual reader, for no one can say exactly what was going through Vickie's mind at the time of writing this piece.

Something from the article, which you can READ HERE reeks of "cover up". The woman's brother, who is now a police officer had fought long and vehemently to be able to get his sister's remains exhumed and have a second Autopsy performed, seeing as there was no "real" investigation, or closing conclusions in regards to Vickie's death. He (rightfully so) wanted answers, not stumbling blocks and open-ended thoughts.

Finally, when the day came to bring up his long dead sister from her encasement, no other officers, not a single peer of the law had come to be with their "brother" in support, or to help raise up Ryan Allred's sister's remains.

No one should have to be "forced" in to helping a Medical Examiner raise their loved one from a grave like this! It's appalling what his so-called Police buddies did to him (or shall I say did NOT do for him).

In the initial reports, it was stated that there were no broken bones, after she had a 100 foot drop from the cliff. But NOW, it is seen that indeed, she DID have broken bones in the (over) 30 year postmortem medical examination.

Between the inconsistency of the first and second Autopsies, the fact that no one can clearly say what her state of mind was near the end of her life, and the fact that her brother had to help pull her body from her casket, with no other Police officers there to watch the proceedings (which I thought was actually a REQUIREMENT of exhuming) or even be the ones instead of Ryan Allred (Vickie's brother) to pull her from her resting place, I say that indeed, there IS a cover up somewhere along the lines. I just can't place with whom or why.

And yes, I also think that Vickie Robin Bertram had been able to foresee her fate. Be it via suicide or being killed by another's hand. She had the gift of "Premonition" and was able to witness in great detail, her ultimate fate.